Music leading us to Him

One things that I always feels draws me closer to God is good music.  Music I can sing to, music that can guide my thoughts, music that agrees with my soul.  Even from the time I was little, the things I remember the most easily are the songs we sang in church.  I can bust out my own personal rendition of "Lord of the Dance" or "On Eagle's Wings" whenever prompted, and many of the psalms are easily brought back to memory in the beautiful melodies that accompany them.  I have noticed since being here in Honduras that I am really absorbing more christian music than I ever have before.  I have been listening to music in both english and spanish which is really helping me to pray and learn in a whole new way.  Since most of you are native english speakers, I want to share with you an awesome song that I have been listening to lately.  It's an indie rock version of the classic "Come thou Fount."  A band called King's Kaleidoscope has done a great job at restyling this church hymn.  I love how the old words, that I know deep in my heart, are represented in a brand new way that sits so well with my soul.

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

Mount of God's unchanging love.

As I reflect on the words of this song, I can't help but feel that song is true of my soul.  I love to sing at mass and praise God in songs of loudest praise.  It is through music that I am taught the melodious sonnets of the psalms.  Through prayer, especially prayer through song, I am made more aware of God's unchanging love for me. 

There is one part of the song that always pulls my attention because I feel that it is so real to how we are.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for thy courts above.

This is a beautiful prayer to the Lord.  It recognizes our human weakness and how distractions of the world can pull us away from God.  Through this recognition we surrender our weakness to God, asking him to take our hearts and make it his.  I feel that these lyrics begging God to protect us, guide us, and help us to remain in his love.  

So I hope that you enjoy this new take on an older hymn as much as I do.  May you let good music into your life and allow it to lead you closer to Him. 

Trying Everything

I have made a decision a while back- I am going to try everything I can while I'm here in Honduras.  If someone offers for me to participate in an activity, I'm going to do it.  When someone offers me a food that I've never even heard of before, I'm going to eat it.  I am going to learn to love where I am and experience life TODAY instead of wishing for something in the future.  Well, I am learning that I love a lot of things about Honduras, especially the people, the culture and the delicious food that they make.

Last week we celebrated the 8th anniversary at the school.  All of the Honduran teachers were working diligently to prepare different parts of the celebration.  One day during my planning period, I walked in and Laura was working on making a piñata-style mask for one of the dances.  When I offered to help she smiled and showed me the process.  I loved it!  I am an arts and crafts kinda girl and this was right up my alley!

Another thing that I got to experience for the first time was playing soccer. I've never understood the rules of soccer and it never seemed like something I would enjoy.  But yesterday after a meeting at work, I was asked if I wanted to play soccer.  I accepted, however I explained that I had NO idea what was going on.  Everyone that was playing was super nice about it and even passed it to me a few times.  I was able to assist on two goals! It was so much fun and I can't wait to play again soon!

The last thing that I am super grateful for is the food here.  The other teachers at the school are great at offering for me to try all of cultural food that they bring in for lunch. Gloria from the pulperia (concession stand/cafeteria) is always whipping up delicious local cuisine, too.  I have fallen in love with fresh salsas, baleadas, pupusas, gringas, and so so much more.   As I try new things I always ask what is in it and how to make it.

Last night Madeline, a wonderful coworker and parent to one of my students, invited the four of us over to her house for dinner.  She was making pupusas for us.  Earlier in the week, when Madeline and I were talking, I mentioned my desire to learn how to cook classic Honduran meals, especially pupusas because they are just so delicious! So as soon as we arrived and met all of her wonderful extended family, she said "Cheryl, it's time for you to learn!" I was so excited I basically ran into the kitchen.  She had the dough prepared, quesillo mashed, and the chicarron was ready.  She told me the process for creating the tortilla dough, and explained that chicarrron is their form of bacon.  Her patience with me while explaining the process was awesome! As we made them with her sister, we talked and laughed and I was just so happy to be here, in Honduras, learning to cook and spend time with such wonderful people!

Dinner was absolutely delicious and the conversation, bilingual of course, was super fun! It was a great night and I hope to continue to learn new things and continue to build relationships with those around me.  Ohh, and I can't wait to learn how to cook even more of my favorite Honduran things!

I would like to challenge you to try new things.  The more I have tried new things, the more I have learned to love where I am and the hard moments are easily forgotten because there is so much joy in trying something new.  Life is so much more enjoyable when you are pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone.  I know I'll be busy trying everything!

Beacon of Light in the Darkness

In my last post "I love you at your darkest", I shared about how I have been feeling in the dark lately. Well my good friend and current roommate, Jenny, gave me a copy of a book entitled "Seeking the Beloved: A prayer journey with St. John of the Cross" by Wayne Simsic.  If you share any of the sediments of that post, I suggest that you pick up a copy of this book.

Right now, God is speaking to my soul so much through this author.

"Faith constantly call us beyond our limitations because we never really know God, 

so the darkness increases as our faith deepens." 

I feel like I have definitely been called beyond my personal limitations here in Honduras - I am away from so many people I love and all of the comforts of my previous life.  But as I enter more into the darkness, my faith has to increase.  The more time I spend in pryer, the more I realize how far away I am from the One that created me.  The more I learn and get to know God, the more I realize I don't know.  It's a beautiful and stressful contradiction.  I have to have trust more, depend less on how I feel and more on what I know to be true.... I need to grow in faith.

God is calling me into the darkness right now.  Instead of feeling despair, this book has given me hope.  Hope that this is what is necessary to purify my heart - to prepare me for whatever it is that God has planned next.

"Love joins faith in showing us the way through the inevitable darkness that comes with spiritual growth.  It is faith that prepares us for union with God by drawing us into the unknown, and it is love - the heart's longing for the divine - that provides light even in the thickest darkness of night."

I have always been blessed to be aware of God's never ending love for me.  I am learning now to have faith in that love even when I do not feel it.  This darkness was inevitable.  If I was in the states or living here in Honduras, the darkness was coming.  God set this time aside in my life to experience this. I am blessed to have this time of sanctification to get even closer to God.  This faith in his unceasing love is my beacon of hope as I continue through this darkest part of my journey to Him yet.  I pray that each of you have hope in the boundless love of our amazing God so that when your darkness comes, it just doesn't seem as dark as it could be.

I love you at your darkest

I'm going to be completely honest here - life is hard.  Life is hard for everyone.  No matter where you are in the world. No matter what possession you have.  No matter what the situation... Life is hard.

When I lived in Pittsburgh and worked at one of the highest ranked schools in the state, life was hard.  It was hard because there was so much pressure to live up to.  The difficulty occurred because I let my life be consumed by trying to be the best.  The struggle was there as I pushed and pushed myself to be the best and no matter how hard I tried, I never felt like I succeeded.  I also didn't realize how much I was drifting away from my faith because my focus was so much on performance.  Instead of taking time to pray at night, I would be going over my schedule for the next day.  Instead of prayer in the car on the way to work, I would listen to music to hype me up to get through the day.  Life didn't seem hard - it seemed fine, but looking back it was indeed hard.

When I lived in central PA, life was hard.  I was separated from the ones I loved the most and the group of people that I felt kept me grounded in my faith.  But that struggle lead me to truly begin to prioritize my faith.  It was hard.  Hard to hold myself accountable for my prayer life.  Hard to live a moral life.  Hard to be the person that I was created to be.  God blessed me with great friends and a phenomenal church, but life was still hard.

Now living here in Honduras, life is a new kind of difficult.  My past struggles have helped prepare me, but I have been having this overall feeling of darkness.  An indescribable distance from God.  It's heartbreaking for me knowing that I have come all the way here to love Him, serve Him, and get to truly know Him.  The darkness is hard.  The struggle is real.  The style of life here isn't hard for me, and for that I am blessed, but the lack of feeling connected to the One that created me is extremely difficult.  

Last night, I was truly blessed in prayer.  I was reading Romans 5:8

God proved his love for us

in that while we were still sinners 

Christ died for us.

How beautiful! God loves us, no matter what our sins, no matter what our struggles, no matter the depth of the darkness - he loves us!  I was caught up a bit on this verse, it just kept coming back to my mind even as I continued to read.  So I stopped reading and began reflecting on just this verse.  I decided after a while that I should google it... not sure why, it's not something I usually do.  But one of the first images that came up was a quote that said "I love you at your darkest."  Immediately my heart was filled.  

We all have darkness.  Our darkest moments are the moments of our life that we are ashamed of or that we want no one to see.  Well, God always sees us, even at our darkest. It is reassuring to know that His love knows no bounds.  

I hope that if you are struggling like I am that these words give you the hope that they gave me.  

"I love you at your darkest."  Jesus

Prayer in New Ways

Every week on Thursdays the school starts the day with Hora Santa, which means Holy Hour.  Typically, adoration here is very structured.  Guided prayers, reflections being read, bible verses, songs, more structured prayers, more guided reflections, more songs... you get the picture.   Every week although the songs, readings, and reflections change, the structure is the same.  There is little time for the students to pray in their own way.

Well, last week on Thursday I was responsible for planning the reflections for Holy Hour.  I decided to change the structure a little bit.  My thought was a little less talking, a lot more prayer.  I also wanted to encourage the students to pray in a new way, their own way.  After the opening song and standard prayers,  I had one of my students read Luke 11: 9-13.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be give to you;

See and you will find;

Knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives;

The one who seeks finds;

and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of your fathers, if your son asks for a fish, 

will give him a snake instead?

Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

If you then, though you are evil, 

know how to give good gifts to your children,

How much more will your Father in heaven

give the Holy Spirt to those who ask him!

Another student then read a reflection about opening your heart to God, asking for what you need and trusting that our Loving Father in heaven will provide.  I then encourage the students to write a letter to God, thanking Him for what He has blessed them with and asking for what they need.  I encouraged them to either write a letter or draw a picture or sit quietly and pray. The students seemed really into it! 

After about 10 minutes of prayer in their own way, we had another reading and reflection that my students prepared.  Then during the song "Lord, I need you" by Matt Maher played by our wonderful Mr. Wilmer, the students presented their letters to Jesus.  They were so reverent and prayerful.  It was absolutely beautiful watching the students of the school physically and spiritually come to Jesus. 

 When adoration was over I was just overwhelmed with the joy and beauty of the Holy Hour.  My students wrote journal entries about Holy Hour that day and how they enjoyed being able to pray in a new way.  One girl wrote about how she loves to write and she never realized the opportunity to pray through writing.  I was just amazed at the little seeds planted in their hearts.

A beautiful sight

God is so good!
 I hope that my students continue to discover new ways to pray
because our life is a never ending prayer to a loving God!