My Mountain Tops

One place that I discovered that I could always find my center was when I was hiking and I hit the top of the mountain.  When I first moved to Huntingdon, that was the only place that I always felt at home - in the mountains.  I could take my prayer journal and rosary and hike until I couldn't hear the noise of the world.  Until only silence and the beauty of God's creation surrounded me.  It was a beautiful experience for me each time I went out.  I would always use that time to be quiet with God and that's where I truly discerned coming to Honduras.

One of the first hike's in Huntingdon

My favorite view from the top of 1,000 steps

Well, since moving to Comayagua the mountains have been calling to me.  I desire so badly to go with my prayer journal and rosary and hike for hours and hours until only the beauty of God's creation and silence surround me.  But that isn't safe for me to do.  There is too much uncertainty in the country really to hike, especially alone.

One night when I the desire to go pray and hike was really strong, I went up to the roof of my apartment.  And that's when I realized - God has given me my own little mountain top right here.  Although the silence is not here - not even a little bit - God has given me a place where I can look out at his beauty and creation.  It has become a little safe haven of prayer for me.  I can look out at the city where He has called me to serve his people.  I can see how His beauty radiates in the amazing sunsets and gorgeous mountains that line the skies.

The first sunset I captured here.

The sunset when I realized I have found
my little mountain top on my roof.

I am encourage by the fact that God always provides me with a place where I can connect with Him through nature.  I love being in front of Jesus in the Eucharist, and I know I will always see Him there - but to see God expressing His awesomeness through His creation always provides me with that extra little bit of wander and awe about how awesome He is. Even though I am not out exploring the beautiful mountains that I see, I can truly appreciate the beauty that He has created from my little mountain top.

Meet my Students!

The first few days of school have been truly blessed.  Although there have been some struggles with a language barrier and adjusting to a new and hectic schedule that doesn't make sense to me, I have been able to see God each day through my students. So....

On Monday we started off the school year with Mass said by the Bishop of Comayagua.  A practice that isn't common here is to kneel after receiving the Eucharist.  I almost cried as I watched 6 of my eighth grade boys kneel to pray after receiving Jesus.  At that moment, my heart began to melt knowing that I was in a school where the values of our faith are instilled in the students. What a beautiful revelation to be given on the first day in the first hour of school!

Yesterday as I was hurriedly trying to start class because I was trying to communicate with another teacher and was running late. One of my students gently reminded me that we forgot to pray.  She was so polite! "Ms. Cheryl, don't you think we should begin the day with a prayer?" Again the stress of the day melted away as the faith of these students guides everything that they do.  What a blessing!

Today I was working with all of my students on a project called "A letter to Ms. Cheryl."  Its a way for me to get to know them while I see their writing styles and capabilities.  I am doing it with all of my students - grades 7, 8, and 10.  In the letter they must introduce themselves, tell me about their family, where they were from, things they like, things they dislike, and their goals.  As I was proofreading for them today, it was amazing to see the number of students who said that one of their goals was to grow closer to Jesus.  The one 10th grader even said "I know that I need Jesus always, so one of my goals is to grow in my faith."  JUST AWESOME!  

Another thing is that they all had big goals.  One of my seventh grade boys was really insightful. He wrote "Everyone has goals, but sometimes people's goals seem to be dreams. But my goals, I know they will happen." How motivating coming from the mouth of such a young person! He then went on to state how he was going to make it happen.  The very last sentence read "... because I trust that God will guide my life."  What a beautiful example of trust in our Lord!

I am so excited to see what this year has in store as I am reminded daily of my faith by these wonderful students!

Preparing for School, Preparing my Heart

I have been working really hard this week to prepare for my new students that will start on Monday. It's really been a struggle - being in a new country, learning a new language, trying to understand a new culture... all while preparing for a new school year!  I finished my monthly lesson plans Thursday night and submitted them.  It was a humbling experience trying to plan for the two weeks of August without having any idea what my students are going to be like.  I always thought it was difficult writing a week's worth of plans in the United States when I didn't know the kids - but here its through the beginning of September.  It's humbling to sit in a meeting and only understand a few words of a thirty minute discussion on what the plans should be like.  And it's even more humbling to rely on the kindness of others to be successful at my job, because without my awesome coworkers I would never know what was going on.  I am confident in my ability to teach, but I cannot understand what the expectations are without them because the expectations are in spanish.

One part of teaching that I love is getting new supplies at the beginning of each school year.  Although the situation is very different this year, God blessed me by allowing me to have the experience of shopping for supplies.  It was humbling to have a $0 budget for my classroom.  I remember thinking in the past "I can't believe we only have $____ to spend on the classroom.  Don't these administrators/school board want my classroom to succeed?"  Well this year, thanks to my awesome donors I was able to pick up some things necessary for the success of my classroom.

I am currently operating under the mindset that we don't need a lot of supplies to succeed.  The students are supposed to be bringing in some supplies like markers, colored pencils, paper, etc... for the room.  I know that God will give us exactly what we need.

The past week I have also been working on preparing more than just my lessons.  I am trying to prepare my heart for whatever God has in store for me this year.  The divine mercy chaplet has really been a bright spot in each day for me since I've arrived.  When I am humbled by an experience, lately there has been frustration in those moments.  When I turn to God and give those worries to Him through prayer, I'm learning to trust not only in others, but in my Father.

I am blessed to always have a loving Father to turn to.  God is always there to help me take a step back and humble myself in His presence.  He has called me here.  He is the reason for my journey.  He will provide me everything I need. 

A Change in Perspective

In the United States, if the power goes out it is a major inconvenience.  If people found out the government is behind the power outage, they would be outraged! There would be a panic all over the country that the government is overstepping its boundaries and punishing the people.  People would be up in arms trying to figure out why the government would be oppressing its people.

Well in Honduras, the power has been going out here a lot lately.  And yes, the government is shutting it off.  I had my first experience with it on Monday night at the grocery store.  The power went out and a generator was providing the store energy for the lights and the coolers, but not the registers.  The cashier was figuring out my total on a calculator and then another coworker had to check it.  It was interesting to see their teamwork in what has become a routine situation. When I inquired why, they just said the government had shut it off.  I assumed this was just a one time thing to fix something and that my language barrier was preventing me from fully understanding. 

I didn’t realize this was a frequent situation until today at work.  We were given time to work on our monthly lesson plans on the computers.  We had all been working for about 25 minutes when all of the sudden the power was shut off.  All of the screens went black and all of the work that was done was lost! It did not return for the rest of the workday, which was about 5 hours.  The principal and the other Hondurans did not seem phased.  They immediately began suggesting other things to keep working on until the government decided to give us power back.  So we worked on outlining our plans on paper, had a formation session with a local priest, and we figured out how many desks we needed in each room.  When I inquired about why the government would shut off the power like that, they said they have been doing it with the electricity and water a lot lately and to expect daily shut offs of each.  However, they did not have a clear answer about why or how long this would be happening.  Someone told me that they heard that it might have to do with the fact that the government has cut ties with a few countries that provide Honduras with natural gas, therefore they have a limited supply and are trying to preserve it.  I am going to assume that statement is true.

With a slight change in perspective, we still had such a productive day.  I feel blessed to be here and as new challenges arrive I am going to try to do what Fr. Geoff Rose taught me, and hundreds of campers, this summer: Assume the best.   With that small shift in attitude everything seems a little brighter and a lot less stressful.  God is so good to us and we should assume the good in others. 

The struggles and the strength

My first 48 hours days in Honduras have felt like a weeks.  I had the same feeling at the beginning of CHWC this summer.  It’s a crazy beautiful contradiction between things feeling very new and overwhelming, and feeling settled like I have done things so many times already. I have already started to settle into a routine and it feels amazing.  God has blessed me with quite a few struggles already, but he has also given me the strength and an awesome support system to make it through them.  I am slowly starting to learn to trust in Him always and give him every moment of joy and every moment of struggle. 

One major point of stress for me since I arrived has been my lost luggage.  My bag of clothing did NOT make it to Honduras on Sunday when I did.  The only clothing I had was the clothing on my back and two sweatshirts.  Being that the climate here is quite warm, the sweatshirts did not provide much use.  Luckily Jenny, Ashley, and Julie were there for me when things got tough, as well as the awesome parents at the school Bennett and Carlos.  Dealing with making arrangements in a language you are not fluent in is stressful.  Trying to adjust to a new way of life without everything your prepared to make your adjustment easier is even harder.  But as soon as I offered it all up to Him, telling Him that I understood if He felt I needed this detachment from my personal comforts & that He could have them, the glimmer of hope began to shine. 

I needed to trust Him.  And the reason everything was so stressful is because I was lacking trust in His plan.  When I felt that I needed to solve the problem, handle the situation, be strong… I broke down.  When I wanted to be independent, fear took over… I broke down.  When I struggled to be vulnerable, to ask others for help… I broke down.  Those breaks opened my mind and my heart and truly allowed me to begin my life here.  I have found God works through our struggles to strengthen our spirits.  For when we are struggling, we must surrender our will to His. 

Because of this hectic situation, I have learned how to be more resourceful, had the opportunity to experience Comayagua & Tegucigalpa, and practice my Spanish.  I was blessed today to finally receive my luggage and spend a day getting to know Bennett and Carlos.  God is so good and constantly working in my struggles to make me stronger.  Through this one, long, rough experience, he has given me hundreds of little blessings! I will joyfully suffer as long as the Lord is at my side.

Although I haven’t even met my students yet, I know this year is going to be full of many ups and downs.  I just pray that I can always see His hand at work and praise Him in each moment of each day. 

Brave?

Over the past few weeks, I keep hearing this word in reference to me and my upcoming mission: Brave.

I'm not sure why people keep using that word.  I don't feel brave. I don't necessarily view my upcoming mission as dangerous or that going on a mission like this as something courageous.  I am surely not "a brave solider."

I am a person.  A person who feels that she is being called to do something by God.  God is a loving God and He is leading me to this.  I trust that it will not be dangerous because He will be there for me to protect me.

Therefore, I am not brave.
I am not courageous.
I am a child of God.

The Summer of Transitions

My life over the past few months has been a series of transitions.  The first one was back in June when I resigned from my teaching position and moved back home.  That transition was stressful and overwhelming as I began to detach myself from my material possessions as I packed most of them away for long term storage.  It was hard saying goodbye to my students knowing that I wouldn't see them continue through high school.  Leaving my friends presence was difficult, but the joy of technology has allowed us to keep in touch - although limited by busyness.

My next transition, although brief, was my time at home before camp.  It was wonderful spending quality time with family.  It was a joy to be with them and organizing a bunch of things before CHWC and Honduras.  My stress level, although lower than my stress level as I left JV, was still high as I tried to figure out all the details of the future.

God really blessed me as I transition into my tour with Catholic Heart Work Camp.  With most of the details ironed out, I was able to be truly present with my team, the managers, and the campers.  It was a blessed summer as a nomad with a wonderful group of people that I look at as family, The Prambentz Family to be exact.  It was such a joyful experience - living in the moment and all out of one suitcase. There were so many moments of buckled over with tears streaming down our faces laughter this summer that it made it hard to say goodbye.  But God gave me such peace in my transition knowing that I can see them in the Eucharist, reminding me that we are one body in Him. The Prambentz will always have a special place in my heart.

The transition into being back at home for two weeks thus far has been good.  I am just over a week in and it has been such a blessing.  I have had the opportunity to spend time with a lot of wonderful people in my life.  I haven't really been viewing this time as farewells, but as quality time until I see them again.  I spent one entire day with two of my favorite little ones, Kateri and CiCi, and their awesome mom, Natalie, who I am blessed to call one of my best friends.  I found such great joy while at the Aviary and park with them.  I forget often to look at the world through the eyes of a child, where everything is new, big and exciting.  I love spending time with them because they help me to truly slow down and enjoy every little detail as they discover new things.  

My wonderful family threw me a going away party this weekend that was themed 'Merica.  It was great to celebrate my last stint here in the US before going to Honduras with a full fledge American celebration.  We had so much fun! Sparklers, good food, and a lot of amazing people who have influenced my life by being my friends made for a perfect day.  I had a great time even though there were a lot of goodbyes for now.  The peace as I hugged everyone was unreal.   It was a tear free evening and for that I am truly grateful. 

As I continue to prepare for Honduras, I am blessed to have had this peace thus far.  The push through detachment in June and the nomadic camp life have helped me to grow so much this summer.  I cannot wait to start my time in Honduras and hopefully God graces me with a peaceful transition!  I know it is going to be challenging, but I will be able to see all of those I love in the Eucharist :)