Vulnerability

Being vulnerable is hard.  No one wants to feel vulnerable or exposed.  But yet, it is necessary to be mutually vulnerable to get to know someone.  It’s hard. Really hard.  Letting your walls down. Admitting flaws.  Showing weakness.  Exposing fears.  

But it can also be rewarding if you are doing it in a healthy way.  Mutually, with someone else, letting your guard down.  Getting to know them.  Seeing their walls come down.  Understanding their flaws.  Realizing their weakness.  Seeing their fears.

This year I have learned to enjoy mutual vulnerability.  Getting to know someone as they get to know me.  Slowly, but surely, building meaningful friendships.  For example, my friendship with my beautiful roommate Jenny. We both certainly have walls that we have built to protect ourselves from vulnerability, but with time I know we have both removed brick by brick the insecurities to let the other better understand us.  I have seen her flaws and she has seen mine and I have learned to see the good that is past those and I hope she has been able to see past mine.  I see the weakness in myself more clearly because of my friendship with her.  Living with her I have learned so much about areas I need to grow, and it has been beautiful to strive to grown in those ways.  And through all of these things I have learned the its ok to let people know things that terrify you.  

I am blessed to have learned that it’s ok to be vulnerable. Through Jenny and my other friendships here, God has blessed me to be able to start tearing down my walls and letting people in more and more.  I’m excited to see where this new found “OK”-ness with vulnerability can take me.  But only God knows, and I’m vulnerable enough to admit that I am ok with that.