Newly Resurrected

Today I had the opportunity to go to confession.  I strongly dislike going to confession before I go, I mean, who truly likes going and admitting to themselves and to God all of the ways they have struggled to honor Him? Mmm, not me.  I am ashamed and guilty and I just usually don't want to do it.  But I know that Jesus invites us to come to Him.  He calls us to Him, to purify our hearts and reunite us to Him. And as soon as I walk into the confessional, I feel peace. Peace that we have a loving and merciful God.  How lucky are we to know that our God loves us and is always seeking for us to draw closer to Him! God is so incredibly good!

After I was absolved from my sins today, I went to pray my penance.  As I knelt in the chapel before the tabernacle praying the 1st Glorious Mystery - The Resurrection, I had a revelation.  It was then that God allowed me to realize that Confession allows for an immediate Resurrection.  My soul was cleans, revived to life, by the saving grace of reconciliation.  It was through confession that I was able to walk out of the tomb of my sin.  I have left behind the burial cloths of guilt and shame.  I have been made new even though I look the same.  I still carry my scars, just as Jesus did. He had them in his newly resurrected form so that people would be able to know and relate to Him.

Then he said to Thomas, 

“Put your finger here and see my hands, 

and bring your hand and put it into my side, 

and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”

-John 20:27

God is calling each of us to be resurrected.  Each of us to the sacrament of Reconciliation to be made new, to be revived in Him.  We may still have the scars of our sin after, but we have been forgiven.  And hopefully, if we let them, our scars will allow us to bring others to Christ.

A Model of Work

Lately, a lot of my thoughts during prayer have been about work - current work, past work, future work.  I've been thinking about the joys and the frustrations.  Reflecting on moments where I am not proud of my actions, whether I yelled at my students because they haven't followed a direction for the millionth time or ignored a bad behavior correction because I didn't have the energy to deal with it.  And also the good moments, the ones where I help a student truly understand, or I have the opportunity to encourage a student and build up their self-esteem.  I know that there is a lot of parts to my job that require me to serve my students, but sometime it's hard to keep that focus in a room full of personalities and behaviors. The more I struggle, the more I pray.  And the main goal of all of this prayer is to figure out, not only my long term vocation, but how to live out my daily vocation to love my students and how to make those moments blessed and oriented towards God.

God has opened up a wonderful revelation to me - Jesus lived a life, very similar to ours before he began his apostolic ministry.  He spent his days working as a carpenter, talking to clients that purchased his product, interacting with Mary, Joseph, and friends, and living a simple life.  No bells and whistles, nothing extraordinary, just a normal working life. 

The only thing that was different about Jesus' work in comparison to ours is that his work was flawless. His work was perfect because he, in fact, was perfection.  

Through prayer I have come to realize that in order to sanctify our lives and to prepare ourselves for whatever God is calling us to next, we need to work on perfecting our work as much as possible.  Not perfecting it for ourselves, but perfecting it so that it may honor God.  God is aware of our human nature, he knows that we are flawed and therefore the things we create will have flaws.  However, if we can aim for the perfection in order to bring praise to God (not ourselves) then we are sanctifying our lives.  God doesn't ask us for perfection, he asks us for holiness.  And by making our work an act of prayer, an act of sanctification, then we turn every moment into an opportunity for growth and holiness. May we alway orient ourselves to thank the One who created us!

A Blessed Return

I arrived back in Honduras on Wednesday afternoon, over 24 hours late due to snow and ice.  After two days of travel, I was really glad to land in Honduras and see the beautiful blue skies and lush green landscapes.  Immediately, I was thankful to God for the blessing of being back.  After being home for 5 weeks, I missed a lot of things about being here.  I missed my students, my coworkers, and the kiddos at the Missionaries of Charity, as well as silly things like sunshine, fresh avocados, and my little apartment.

But over the 5 weeks, I started to settle back into the comforts of life at home - family, friends, the ability to drive a car.... just to name a few. However, as those comforts have been stripped away God has blessed me with a giant realization. It is only when all of our comforts are taken away that we truly learn how to love as Christ loves.   During Christ's apostolic period, he did not have many comforts.  He was traveling, unsure of where to sleep, and where his next meal was coming from.  He had one place to truly find rest, and that was in His Father - Our Father.

God has blessed me with being able to see Him in many different places since my return. The smiles and warm greetings of my coworkers, the willingness to work and joy of my students, and the beauty of the world surrounding me all show God's never ending love.  I had a very concrete moment of love and joy upon returning to the Missionaries of Charity to volunteer with the women and children there.  Their embraces and laughter radiated Christ's love.  I am so blessed to have them in my life.

I've realized, that like Jesus, my comfort needs to come from my heavenly Father.  I have been trying to see the face of God in each person I interact with each day.  I have also been spending more time in prayer - especially prayer in front of the blessed sacrament. It is at Adoration that we are in the presence of the One who is love itself.  The One who created me to love and to be loved.  Unless I know the love that the Father has for me, I cannot share it.  It is there that I find peace and strength to continue to love everyday.

I'm praying for all of you!